Friday 29 January 2010

The End of Eco and the Beginning of Myself

Dear Friends (and followers)

I am at the very intersection of edge. The very point of discomfort, growth and ultimate change. There are so many experiences, I did not yet manage to record in this space. Some are in my journal and some are only in my heart waiting to be released on my paper. I wish to share with my you the many lessons I learned on the farm and on the road. But now is not the time.

There were nine of us. Nine different people joined together in one group, filled with both love and conflict. Now I am to bear witness, as they leave me one by one. Most of their journeys here on the farm are over, while mine is being directed towards a new and uncharted course.

Last night, eight of us crawled into a cave. We lit candles upon our descent and when the moment was right we blew out our candles, held hands and simply sat with our energies. Eight bodies, eight breaths, but with one spirit, one dynamic flowing body of energy that we have created. Something from nothing. This is what Israel has taught me. How to be my own designer, create my own path, how to open my heart to love and return all the love that I have stored there.

I tell you now, my prayer, in the Western Wall. I am not sure if this is proper, but it is important for me, since it manifested in many ways. I wrote "Let me open my heart to Israel." My heart has opened to Israel and in Israel. And I feel everything now. I feel joy at remembering hiking from the base of the ocean in Haifa to the top of the university. I feel immense sadness at my interactions with Arab children in the Old City, when I was shot at symbolically three times in one day. I felt awe in the stillness of the Negev desert, where I was surrounded by stars, only stars. No sounds. Then I felt fear at the immensity of the universe the endless possibilities.

I have learned this lesson before, opening my heart. It means you feel everything more. I have fallen in love with Israel, the people, their direct character and their amazing hospitality. I have also fallen in love in Israel, and I have learned to release this love.

The story of the Jews of Domeville is ending. We are disbanding one by one. Leaving in cabs in the middle of night, leaving in pairs, or some are staying behind. I will be nesting here, giving the farm my love for two more weeks. I want create and nurture this space for the next group of Ecos, who will also create their own group energy from nothing.

I will write more, mostly from memory. There will be new stories, new farms, and new loves and I will share these in another format. A new name.

Love,
Danielle

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